What if a friend beats you

Relationship violence - my boyfriend hits me

Hello, I am 20 years old and I have been a victim of domestic violence for about 1 year. My friend humiliates me and insults me. It doesn't happen every day, whenever we argue it happens. After that there is seldom an apology, if then I have to listen to myself that it is my fault. I can't anymore, I can't sleep at night because these things make me so sad. I toy with the idea of ​​killing myself so often, but then there are the good moments when he makes me forget about it. I don’t know what to do next, it’s so difficult to let go, most of all I’m ashamed to tell my parents so as not to hurt them. My family thinks I'm happy. Nobody knows about it except a friend who has already turned away from me. I cry so often alone because the thought of those moments makes me so broken. I always have the pictures in front of my eyes as he hits me in the face. once even with the belt. it's just the most painful thing that my psyche has self-destructed. I feel like I'm sick. I feel lonely and helpless. If I want to talk to him about it, the only thing that will come out is that I'm supposed to be again to blame. But this physical violence is not everything. Mentally I'm just as beaten up, I'm ignored when I call or write. He drives away for hours in an argument and doesn't tell me when he's coming. He often packs his things, hits me before he leaves, but then comes back. He has no insight. I know that nobody can help me here, but I believe that I just need a person to talk to, where I can just let the pain out.

02.02.2018 12:07 • #1