How did ADHD affect your parenting

ADHD - a new drama

Archive topic in the forum school + education

Hello everyone, I registered with you because I saw that many AD (H) D sufferers are also posting here. I felt 'right' there. Therefore I would like to tell you about our problems and so far I am excited to see what you write to me about it. Our twin boys will be 11 next month. The subject of ADHD came up for the first time in kindergarten. We then embarked on a 6-year diagnostic odyssey. Although there was always a suspicion of ADHD, no one has ever clearly attested to us, let alone suggesting / mediating therapies for us. Despite all this, we both got through elementary school relatively well and we switched to high school last summer with a binding recommendation for both of us. Needless to say, we are very proud of it. And now the drama goes into the next round! Our son Lukas primarily has an anger problem. He is quick to temper and has no control over his anger. At the same time, our child has a very pronounced sense of justice. If he feels that he has been treated unfairly or if he thinks that a friend has been wronged, he makes it known loudly. Nevertheless, he does well in school (2-3). Our Julian is more of the classic ADHD person. Dreamer, slower, inattentive, impulse-driven. His school performance is also not that good (3-4), because he still has not really come to terms with the change of school. Everything new is a drama for him. Now we have finally found therapists for our children who, on the one hand, express the diagnosis very clearly and, above all, finally work with the children on how they can cope in the long term. At the same time, both have been on medication for a few weeks. Unfortunately, the new school does not allow our children the slightest amount of time for medication and therapy to take effect. School completely ignores the fact that the behavior of one person determines and perhaps even causes that of the other. Our school is adorned with a nice sponsorship award for individual support - we thought great. However, you don't notice anything. Because Julian did not show the desired change within weeks, a special school procedure has now been initiated against him. When we resisted, Lukas was barred from teaching for a week because of some 'offenses' - without a hearing, without warning, without a class conference ...... our lawyer said, simply and thoroughly illegal. In the individual conversations we unfortunately had to find out that at this school there is obviously massive sorting out and what cannot be "faked away" can be gotten rid of in another way - without obeying any laws. We are completely at the end of our nerves, have (meanwhile) 8 extremely tough weeks behind us and at the moment we are just afraid that our boys will be downgraded to special schools because one simply cannot and does not want to deal with ADHD. I am happy to hear your opinions and hope to find a little mental support here to better survive the fight for the future of my children. Greetings and thanks for reading Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 11th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Hello Kalo with us it was similar. Ours is also quick-tempered and loud. She has ADHD. Now after switching to secondary school, it was also awesome. In addition, it was changed medication. Pressure was put on us too. But thanks to the school psychological service of our therapist, a special school examination and with the help of the youth welfare office (which we consulted ourselves), she is now being provided with an intregation aid for the school. Everyone was of the opinion that it helps her. Because she also has good grades. If you still want to know something just ask. Unfortunately, I have to go to work right away and can't write in such detail. :)
Submitted by Marita on April 12th, 2010 at 7:32 am
Special school procedure because he stands 3-4 ??? Exclusion from school - just like that ??? Its not possible! What an anti-social school! There are two options now. Either you fight for your rights and the boys stay at school (you are certainly in the right according to your description) or there are school alternatives and you switch. I don't know whether it's the boys' KL now or the whole school is like that. I wouldn't want my children in such an elite stable if the whole school is like that. Of course it's great when someone fights for changes in such a system, but do you really want that at the expense of your own children ?! If I took my children among them, I would surely have a letter to the editor in the local press afterwards. I am really outraged! Good luck that you can quickly find a good solution for you. LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 12th, 2010 at 7:57 am
Hello Kalo, up to this point I can understand your structured narratives well. But then there are several problems and I will just write down a few statements and questions: At the grammar school there is pressure from the G8. It is not possible to write papers again or under other conditions ... Oral participation is always the focus and is constantly noted. Disruptive behavior in class disturbs those who are inconspicuous. So what do you mean exactly? What requires WHAT ???? There is _no_ time at the gym ... because during this time children lose touch ... Keep up at any price, catching up is not possible with the amount of material. The children would go nuts ... If only a few days were absent, the rework emergency breaks out ... We have it too. Remedial courses for 9 pupils each in Ma, En and De during lunchtime. This is not ONLY about children with bad grades, but also about the children who are in between
Posted by Deala on April 12th, 2010 at 2:30 p.m.
Deala, of course you can just as easily -without a conference, etc. be expelled from school, but something really serious must happen. If so, Kalo should know. And of course there is enormous pressure at the G8 high schools to follow through with the material, which is not exactly great for teachers either. But it cannot be 'sifted' regardless of a child's circumstances. This means that, for example, ADS children would never have the chance of an Abitur, no matter how intelligent they are. Now, of course, you can say that the way of working has to be right, but that also requires the support of the school. The fact that the circumstances since the G8 have been really difficult (for everyone) should not mean that everyone who is not 100% on the 'line' has to have no chance! LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 12th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Hey Hanja, I'm with you :-) ... an ADHD boy is also in our son's class and that works too! So I would be very interested in what kind of consideration is expected from Kalo and what the 'non-consideration' looks like in concrete terms. Nevertheless ... there can be no compromises from the material to be developed. This is then missing afterwards as a substructure on which learning can continue. Consideration, I could imagine, for example, that work is written in separate rooms at the same time, so that there is no potential for distraction. Or that behavior / homework is closely monitored and reflected with counter-signature by the parents. Or that parents and teachers have a (telephone) conversation once a week or or or ... But Kalo can then comment on that again!
Submitted by Deala on April 12th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Somehow your problem sounds familiar to me. My son was also screened out by a teacher. Or almost sifted out. We then left voluntarily. From secondary school to comprehensive school. For us this way was the best. But it doesn't mean that it is the same for you. Even if, of course, you can't expect any school or teacher to sit down for hours with each student individually and learn everything, but close supervision makes sense, of course. It doesn't matter if it's ADHD or not. That means for a calm working atmosphere, teachers should stay longer and explain something, close contact between school and parents etc. Unfortunately, some teachers lack the right attitude towards this. Maybe they don't feel like it, maybe they are too sure of their job. I don't know and I can't understand this attitude. But if I sometimes hear the conversations in the staff room, I understand why some students and parents feel left alone. (Incidentally, I am allowed to pick on teachers, I am a teacher myself: D) Incidentally, this sifting has a very logical reason (at least here with us) . Despite binding school career recommendations, far too many parents still push their child to grammar school, even though it is at most enough for secondary school. Likewise, children who would be better off at a secondary school go to a secondary school. With us, the entrance classes are fuller every year. In the next few years, more and more children would not make the transfer. In order to make it easier to change schools, we try to pick up the pace in the first two years to find out who can really do the Abitur later. Of course, the pressure from the G8 has increased and that is really stressful for the children. I would go through the therapy and stay calm. As long as your sons continue to get good to average grades, there is no logical reason that they should not stay in high school. I also consider the matter with the 'special' school to be illegal. Deala has already explained it (and she is a specialist, right?). But I can imagine the teacher threatening it. Makes an impression first and then proves to be baseless. I am always surprised at how different things go at German grammar schools. Thanks to Goot, nobody loses touch with us if someone is sick for a week and doesn't work in parallel. And there is always time. And if it is not there, the teacher has to create it. To be honest, it's more important to me that my students take something away from my class than that I beat the material. And the takeaway doesn't always have to have something to do with the topic.Most of the time I also learn something: laugh: I'm really honored that I neither teach at such a horror school (sounds like that to me, sorry), nor teach my children at one such chic.
Submitted by Danny4 on April 12th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Hi Danny, No, this really isn't a horror school ... I think the school and the structured nature of at least the current teachers are pretty good ... To explain, maybe this: At the son's school there are 80 minute lessons. That means in terms of content - especially in the subjects that take place once a week - a lot is happening. Usually 2 sheets are written, something is worked out orally / in partner work and material is conveyed in the book Diverses. Then there is a homework assignment. The next lesson is based on that. If a student like this misses several days, then he simply has a lot to catch up on in quantitative terms. It looks similarly complex in the main subjects, with a new basic topic being worked on every week. This means that the qualitative processing - if one was missing - is added here. At which type of school do you teach ??? For me as a special needs school teacher, who, if necessary, we sometimes give our students their heads: D, that was tough, too.
Submitted by Deala on April 12th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Good evening. First of all, many thanks for the many answers. I will now try to 'work through' all Statemants and especially questions one after the other. @ Deala: I am not concerned that my children should be fried an extra sausage in the sense that other examination criteria are used for my children. Here is a short chronology since the school change, because I think that it makes clear what I mean by time: -first conversation with the KL at the beginning of Sep. 09 -Search for therapist - first appointment in the middle of October 09 -up to the Christmas holidays the therapist was able to work 6 hours with Julian (diagnosis included) - email the KL that I would like to come to his conversation from 2.2.10 - appointment at the Then the SL came in (which I did not know) and informed me that he would now initiate the special school procedure was then on February 16 (because the school did not allow an earlier appointment) The therapist had 10 sessions with the child! And it can't work miracles either. When we then decided to give Julian Medikinet, we were told exactly 1 week after the start of the medication that it would not help at all. And that after both the therapist and I have stated several times that the exact dosage of the drug must be 'tried out' and that we are just at the beginning of the discovery phase. This is what I mean when I 'complain' that we are not given time. Even with Medis, the behavior of an ADHD person cannot be remodeled within 2 weeks in such a way that it can be described as adapted. Since there were certificates exactly 3 days before the said e-mail from KL, I was amazed, because July had 2s, 3s and a 4 on the certificate! So for an ADHD person in the first half year of high school, totally ok in my eyes. We don't really have any problems with the material either. ________________________________________ The sponsorship award is the 'Seal of Approval Individual Funding' from the Ministry for Schools and Further Education of the State of North Rhine-Westphalia. The "Seal of Approval for Individual Promotion" is an award from the Ministry of Education in North Rhine-Westphalia. For a period of three years it is awarded to schools that focus their work particularly on the needs of individual students, encourage them according to their abilities and deal with mistakes and weaknesses in an encouraging way (original sound from the description on the homepage of the school) ____________________________________________________ We found out about the special schools for emotional developments here and I also stumbled upon that they only offer secondary school level here. There is such a school with a high school level in Cologne. But that's about 100 km from us - I think that wouldn't really be reasonable. I also spoke to an evening secondary school teacher friend of mine who told me that the 'special school students' often end up with her because they want to do a degree. She says, on the other hand, a secondary school leaving certificate is really packed with knowledge - and something like that can only be ironic in the middle of the quiet area. I mean. the kids who come from the special school can hardly do anything. In addition, the special schools are on the test stand due to the EU directive and should be closed. Just recently my friend (from Schleswig-Holstein) informed me that the special needs school she works at will be closed at the end of the school year. And that 'their' school is not the only one. Regarding Lukas, he excluded Lukas from teaching for a week - without any acute cause. Even if my child had kept it a secret from me at the time, we, as legal guardians, would have had to be told the reason. In the conversation on February 16 - after I was told that Julian was going to be sent to the special school - I was told that Lukas was an 'anarchist who needs something behind the spoons'! He probably hit a kid on the head with a table tennis bat, and he also pushed a group of 7th or 8th graders because they pissed his brother. And that brings me to the interaction in the boys' behavior. Julian is bullied (verbally and physically) by a group of older students. Because there is no teacher, Lukas intervenes - and gets a few on the lid because he cannot verbally defend himself against children 3-4 years older and instead pushes. (These children were not even reprimanded - not even after my son was able to tell the KL the names and the class) ____________________________________ I've read about the SchulTÜV before, but didn't know that it already exists here. (NRW) I reproach the SL for not complying with the school law applicable for NRW with regard to the regulatory measure. Although he justifies the measure with a paragraph, he has obviously not read it, because then he would know that he may not impose any regulatory measures without a class conference or a comparable body. The pupil who has the right to take along a teacher or pupil he trusts, as well as the parents, must be heard before this body. Then the conference or panel has to make that decision. If there are serious reasons, the SL can immediately exclude a student from teaching. He then has to hold the conference / hearings retrospectively. None of these things happened in our case. So we turned the matter over to a lawyer. On the one hand, I had testimony from two teachers, a rector and a former rector, but my legal knowledge is limited to a little bit of civil and commercial law. So I wanted to get the 'expert opinion'. In addition, at that time I was so overwhelmed with both construction sites that I would not have been able to steer it in the right direction on my own.Sometimes you just have to delegate paperwork! So, dear Deala - I hope that you now have a slightly better picture. Otherwise, please ask again. I've discussed the topic so often that I leave out some things simply because I and 70% of the people I talk to already have this information. I'm not angry at all or angry with you or anything. You're absolutely right - I can't buy anything for pity. I am looking for honest support or maybe someone to tell me that I am totally wrong. So keep going! Thank you for reading! Kind regards Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 12th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
now to you :) dear Danny my boys want to stay at school first. I've already thought about the alternatives - including comprehensive school. With some schools I think that we will go bad before the rain, some are just way too far away and the problem with the comprehensive school is simply that they have taken in the maximum number of students and it will be difficult, if not impossible, to have them there to accommodate! In addition, I don't want to initiate a hasty change of school either! That would mean total stress for July and that wouldn't be really good for Lukas either. And with a pending special school procedure, it will also be difficult for a SL to take on what another SL has stolen. It is (now) also clear to me that even binding recommendations do not really say anything about whether a child is really suitable for a type of school. In our case, I drove my children across town for their elementary school days - which was partly due to the fact that the elementary school they attended was close to my university and at the time the all-day elementary school was already experienced, something here in our district was not yet so and on the other hand, this elementary school has an extremely good reputation. The former headmistress, with whom I spoke about our cases, also said that there are of course 'courtesy recommendations', but that she knows elementary school and cannot imagine that with ours. I would like to say that again very clearly - this is only about the behavior of my children and not about their performance or the workload! I work with my children on one or the other thing that was not understood in class - but I would call it little at the moment. Homework like to take a little time with us, which is also due to the fact that I always have to do HA with children. And that's where people like to discuss when they have different approaches. So much for me first. Please ask for further inquiries if I once again expressed myself incomprehensibly - and thank you again for the many reactions to my contribution! So far everything has only given me more courage that we are on the right track! LG Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 12th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Hello Kalo, thanks for the very long, very detailed answer. I will - about the situation for me (and maybe for you ... I don't know) ask more questions ... sometimes very stupid, yes? You have 'special children' and look for a conversation with the school relatively quickly after the start of the school year. Wonderful. What agreements did you make, did you make a memory log of the conversation? Was papa there too? The decisive conversation takes place 5 months later, during which everything seems to collapse. Why haven't you had any ongoing contact in the meantime - especially so that you can better accompany the therapy by asking questions at school? Hasn't there been a parenting day in the meantime? Was here in November ... You have 'special children' and are looking for a conversation with the school relatively quickly after the start of the school year. Wonderful. What agreements did you make, did you make a memory log of the conversation? Was papa there too? The decisive conversation takes place 5 months later, during which everything seems to collapse. Why haven't you had any ongoing contact in the meantime - especially to be able to better accompany the therapy by asking questions at school? Hasn't there been a parenting day in the meantime? Was here in November ... You have 'special children' and are looking for a conversation with the school relatively quickly after the start of the school year. Wonderful. What agreements did you make, did you make a memory log of the conversation? Was papa there too? The decisive conversation takes place 5 months later, during which everything seems to collapse. Why haven't you had any ongoing contact in the meantime - especially in order to be able to better accompany the therapy by asking questions at school? Hasn't there been a parenting day in the meantime? Was here in November ... You have 'special children' and are looking for a conversation with the school relatively quickly after the start of the school year. Wonderful. What agreements did you make, did you make a memory log of the conversation? Was papa there too? The decisive conversation takes place 5 months later, during which everything seems to collapse. Why haven't you had any ongoing contact in the meantime - especially in order to be able to better accompany the therapy by asking questions at school? Hasn't there been a parenting day in the meantime? Was here in November ... You have 'special children' and are looking for a conversation with the school relatively quickly after the start of the school year. Wonderful. What agreements did you make, did you make a memory log of the conversation? Was papa there too? The decisive conversation takes place 5 months later, during which everything seems to collapse. Why haven't you had any ongoing contact in the meantime - especially so that you can better accompany the therapy by asking questions at school? Hasn't there been a parenting day in the meantime? Was here in November ... [QUOTE = kalo; 348478] So the therapist had 10 sessions with the child! And it can't work miracles either. When we then decided to give Julian Medikinet, we were told exactly 1 week after the start of the medication that it would not help at all. And that after both the therapist and I have stated several times that the exact dosage
Submitted by Deala on April 13th, 2010 at 8:44 am
Here it goes and the worst thing is, I've lost a part * howl * .... And I don't have that much time again ... If I were you, I would try to list what may have happened and how the school did NOT react ... They probably told you a lot about your conspicuous son when they started this special school story. That is not allowed, the school also has an obligation to inform the parents. So, from here on I try to reconstruct what I lost through copying back and forth. So ... (second attempt) I can understand that you are dissatisfied and angry. But what is unfortunate with us is the involvement of a lawyer. That always poisons - regardless of whether it is school or a completely different area - the togetherness. Unfortunately, that's not 'just delegating paperwork' after all. Wasn't it possible to work together with the school parents' council (this is called guardianship in North Rhine-Westphalia, I think ...)? You can also call the state school authorities and get support (so hot
Submitted by Deala on April 13th, 2010 at 09:02 am
@Deala I teach at a high school. Almost only upper level, but also two intermediate levels and one lower level. We only have double lessons (90 minutes) and of course a lot is done there. However, it is not so stressful with us, although of course we also have guidelines that we have to adhere to, but I have the feeling that we are perhaps a little freer than other federal states in our curriculum design. But we also have to at my school. We have a high proportion of foreigners and many of them have really big deficits despite being recommended for high school. Let me say, 'Among the blind, the one-eyed man is king!': D That is why you are more likely to get a recommendation for high school at a primary school with poor pupils with average grades than at a school with good pupils. And then they all end up here with us and we have to somehow get them to one level: D But of course we also have central final exams and central college. So it's nice to have control from above. But maybe I don't see the stress that way either, because I'm incredibly lucky to have four good and almost problem-free children who get along very well on their own, almost never need my help and just have the incredible ability not to listen in class, only to work halfway and still have good grades, both verbally and in writing.: D Incidentally, I see the problem in politics as well, but as you have already said, that is a different topic.
Submitted by Danny4 on April 13th, 2010 at 17:32 o'clock
Always bring the questions. : D But first of all, because I think that was not quite clear: Lukas is the son that the SL has excluded from classes (without a class conference, etc.) and because of whom we called the lawyer. The problem was that the only legal remedy that remains is the lawsuit if the SL does not see it. that he acted unlawfully in this case. And if we hadn't done anything about it, he might have kicked the boy out of school at the next opportunity - and then you stand there first and then have to fight for your rights. If I were you, I would try to list what may have happened and how the school did NOT react ... They probably told you a lot about your conspicuous son when they started this special school story. That is not allowed, the school also has an obligation to inform the parents. Julian is the ADHD person who is supposed to go to special school. But let's take it one after the other: In principle, nothing would be agreed upon during our first meeting. I 'promised' I'd take care of a therapist. Unfortunately I didn't write anything down for me at the time and dad wasn't there either (on business). Up until the parents' day in mid-November, there were a few emails from KL to me, but they were rather confident. The impression was also confirmed by the conversation on the parents' day with both KL and co-KL (= German and history teacher). He said at the time 'Julian has turned 180 degrees since the start of the school year. We still have 1 1/2 years and we'll get it done by then '(the really important things are sometimes very precisely present). So for the time being everything is good - and in good spirits, since we had found a therapist in the meantime. Before Christmas, the math teacher asked for an interview. She complained that Julian always took so long to get an exercise. begins. That wouldn't work at high school! When I asked her if she seriously believed that it had something to do with the type of school, she had to say no, too. I explained that the therapist was working on it but couldn't work miracles in a few sessions. Before Christmas, the KL agreed on a control sheet with the therapist, which Julian should have the teachers fill out - after the holidays. Tick ​​whether 'listening' and 'taking up work' were good / medium / bad. So 2 crosses per lesson and teacher. The whole thing failed miserably, because Julian often forgot that (typically) or the teachers were gone too quickly or simply didn't do it. But I only got the feedback with the mail of 02.02.! so contact was there! My child has been receiving medicinet for 4 weeks now and that would not help, the KL told me during a conversation 1 1/2 weeks before the Easter break. How it is going now cannot be said after 2 days and I am also not sure whether we have already found the final dosage. My boys' class has 28 children, including 18 boys and around 70% children with a migration background. According to my children, things have been going quite well in class since about mid-February. Before that, Julian in particular called himself a victim that the other children like to be pissed. I don't know how the oral participation is evaluated, but in the purely oral. You don't get 3 fans if you never open your mouth - right? Julian can publicly answer questions when prompted. Lt. KL / SL can’t do that. However, Lukas regularly complains that he is tearing his arm off and being brushed off with the words 'I know that you know that, but I also have to ask the other times'. And Lukas says, then other children are asked who do not answer. So you can't do that or you don't WANT to do that for Julian? But only by the way. About the seal of approval - yes, of course I mentioned that. The SL did not respond, he just kept repeating that he would initiate the procedure because he could not school a child like Julian (as far as I know, he does not even know my child). The test stage coordinator announced in the last conversation before the holidays that this support could not be provided for Julian. The support would relate to dyslexia or something and you would have 2 children with integration helpers at the school - the children have a physical handicap! School psychology or something similar does not exist at this school, 'because you are a grammar school' (O-Ton Erprobungskoord.). The KL probably sent Julian outside the door when he was annoyed and cried about a 4 in English. Of course, Julian's review has not yet taken place. Nothing at all has been communicated to us in writing so far. The lawyer first had to ask in writing whether he had brought the case on its way or not. A one-liner came back: The procedure was initiated. I called the school office first. They referred me to the district government because it was responsible for high schools. There I phoned a clerk who initially put me off saying he had to discuss the case with a colleague. When I received a call back 2 days later, I was informed that the SL had told the colleague when asked that they had a consultation with me 'like yesterday'. When I said that I hadn't spoken to anyone about the school for a week, he put me off again, he wanted to ask again exactly and then get in touch. That was at the end of February. I haven't heard anything since! Regarding Julian, there is NO SINGLE WRITTEN from the school to us !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes - the examining school - when I asked the SL about it, he called the 'sun school'. I had to put up with it because I didn't know the school. During my research it came out that this is the 'school for the sick' here. When I confronted him with this information in the second interview, he said that someone from the relevant school would just come! Here I also mentioned the issue of the right to the level of education, but from then on the same thing always came from him: he initiates it and then someone will check what has to happen to Julian. Here it came about for the first time that the funding location could also be gymnasium - that is, by helper. The fact that I had already initiated to apply for an integration assistant for Julian (but I only had the inso for a few days) he said that this could ONLY be done through this procedure. But that is wrong. I just made an application to the youth welfare office. Let's see what that gives. Incidentally, there are exactly 2 rebukes from the math teacher for Lukas that Lukas disturbs the class. And then the message that Lukas will be banned from class for 1 week! By the way, during the week my child was allowed to dance there every morning and every lunchtime, so that he could enjoy himself. picks up and returns. However, the school's organization was so bad that sometimes he just had 1 exercise. for 1 subject per morning. But even that only marginally! Now I would like to briefly say something about special schools in general. I fully agree with you that the slackening of these schools is a drama - especially since no one has paid attention to how the children schooled there should be integrated into the mainstream school if they can be taught at all under the 'normal' circumstances. And by the time E-classes have been formed in schools, those affected have long since ceased to be required to attend school. However, as far as the level is concerned - I come from North Rhine-Westphalia, the Ruhr area. Social hotspot, high unemployment and high proportion of fellow citizens with a migration background. The schools for Emotionate Developmental Disorders in particular are parking spaces for children that nobody really cares about, who simply fall through the cracks. So please don't take it too personally - but I think things look better in Lower Saxony than here. If he would give a school for ADHD children, so small classes, close care ........ what such a child needs, but the whole thing, please, at a level that my child demands his mental abilities, we would have No regular high school selected at all. Unfortunately, there is no such school here. With a heavy heart we even considered boarding school - but unfortunately we can't do it. Unfortunately, we do not include school fees of 1500, - minimum per month and per child. So now my report is sooooo long again - but maybe your picture is a little more precise now and you can tell me a few more things about it. Kind regards Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 13th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Hello kalo, so - now I have all the facts that I needed and slowly a picture of the whole situation. Took a little longer ...: D What happened to the exclusion from classes? Especially after the intervention of the RA, that this was not steered into legally impeccable paths by a subsequent KK ... WHAT do you think personally, why the school makes life so difficult for you ... Throws one son out and the other - without having the slightest idea (and that's how it will be) - on special pedigree. Wants to check funding needs ... ????????? What's going on I would advise you to do the following: Please write everything down. All contacts with the school, all agreements that were discussed ... EVERYTHING ... Systematically, chronologically. NOTHING is as impressive in crisis talks as such a document! Take your time, think about what 'incidents' there were with both children and how the school acted ... Write down all the reasons for conversations with the school, everyone! Do you know the supervisor of this school (school board, head of school, district government, etc.)? Send this to him and clearly state your total despair over the future of your son who is to be tested. Asks for help. Don't let any clerks fob you off, parents also have the right to talk to the school council. Says that the situation has gone in such a way that he no longer knows what to do ... Says that you are otherwise desperate as you are to address the press. If that doesn't work, turn to your member of the state parliament with this letter and the addition that the superior school authority is not reacting. Make an appointment with them. ~~~~ Another possible approach as an alternative: ~~~~~ Write to this 'sun school' and ask for an information meeting there. Maybe those who have a clue can help YOU. How many times have I seen colleagues from mainstream schools want to get rid of children and I / other colleagues first had to make it clear to them that it couldn't be done like this ... They always work up a sweat when they notice that theirs The idea of ​​getting rid of children is not at least compatible with rules and laws ... Do you have a link from this school ...? I would like to have a look at it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Before one more thing ... you mustn't wait any longer. The school year has 10 weeks left. That's a hell of a lot. ME puzzles that there is talk of the review and NOTHING happens. I also know from other federal states that checks are carried out BEFORE the Easter holidays. That the reports are then promptly written (at least 12 pages, at least 4 reports per teacher ...) and that the regulations for the school year planning for the coming school year are clear by May at the latest. WHEN should this happen to you ...? All in all, I'm just confused when I see your facts ... On the subject of Medikinet: As part of my own special pedigree. I also had checks to do with a child, which reacted to Medikinet with serious side effects. That's why I phoned various doctors / therapists and heard a lot about the correct dosage of Medikinet. I was told very clearly that the correct dosage would belong in the hands of absolute specialists ... So don't go to the pediatrician or family doctor, but to the child and adolescent psychiatrist. If necessary, change it too ... Medinet works immediately if it is correctly dosed. Get in touch again!
Submitted by Deala on April 14th, 2010 at 13:56 o'clock
Hall Kalo, I also have a son who has ADHD our marathon diagnosis was about 4 years. He has been on medicinet for about 12 weeks, prescribed by the child and adolescent psychiatrist. We had to sneak in the drug, that is, we started with 10mg to see if he could tolerate it, then we were on 20mg for about 3 weeks and are then on the current final dose of 30mg. Thank goodness Moritz MEDIKINET tolerates and notices that it helps him. Alternatively, there is another drug that is for ADHD, called Strattera, which is also not covered by the BTMG. It also comes from the group of antidepressants, many think it would have a lot of side effects (according to the package insert), but left other package inserts, there are many side effects everywhere, including with Medikinet. We have an odyssey behind us with our school (GS, 4th grade), but I'm not upset anymore, 10 more weeks, then he changes. Moritz they have already finished mentally: angry: But now, everything has been so much better since he got the medication .... they can do me, it's all about my son and not about the calmness of the teachers! But things like that with you, that's the sheer pinnacle of cheek, just don't let that get you down! And I thought it was bad for us.
Submitted by Else on April 14th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Deala, as far as the timing of a possible test and report is concerned, here in North Rhine-Westphalia it is also the case that tests should be carried out BEFORE the Easter holidays. Just as by then another school career recommendation should be made for the purpose of retraining. Since kalo is also from NRW, it should not be any different for them. In other words the school acts against all rules and guidelines. Not to mention reason.
Submitted by Danny4 on April 14th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Hello Deala, first of all thank you again for taking the time to gain an overview in this opaque confusion. So the week of exclusion was fun. We had to put up with the week, then a contradiction does not cancel the measure - it says in the law. And since the Rea did not have an answer to his letter to the SL by the Friday before the expulsion, he said that the boy would stay at home then. That Friday, Lukas received a slip of paper that said who he should report to on what day. Lukas had to arrive every morning at 7.40 a.m., Aufg. pick them up, go home and take care of them, bring them back at 1.30 p.m. and then take the HA with you, which had to be returned the next morning accordingly. I went with them, of course, because I believe that a 10-year-old cannot really cope with such a situation. There were exactly 2 tasks. before - even though 6 subjects were taught that day. When asked what happened to the rest, we were referred to the Co-SL, who told us that not all teachers always do all of the tasks. submit. We are then home, the boy did his job and I brought him back at noon. The number then was awesome. He should report to the test level coordinator. Nobody was in the staff room at 1:30 p.m. because a photo session was scheduled. When she came and I spoke to her, she teased me that I hadn't made an appointment with her. My hat string really broke - she wasn't informed at all, although the SL had spoken to her 5 minutes beforehand. (He couldn't even say hello to me). She wanted the task. then take it. She didn't know anything about HA. My other son then cheekily trumpeted that there weren't any! It basically went on like this for the whole week. Disorganized to the core. Exactly this week we had the appointment with Julian's therapist, KL and Erprob .. They tried really hard to make me know that I had no claims that Lukas or we should be informed about the COMPLETE missed course content - that would be YOUR service. Lukas would have to get it from classmates! Confronted with the statement that they are obliged to tell us the complete content (I got the information from a teacher friend of mine), there was silence in the forest. Especially where they let the young dance there twice a day. ______________________________________________ What's going on? In the various discussions (especially the one with KL and ERprob.) I got the impression that NO ONE really knows the legal situation. They really feel that they are in the right and are of the opinion that children can simply be excluded from time to time and then the parents will give them steam and then they will notice or go to another school voluntarily! But since Julian cannot prove any wrongdoing that justifies a regulatory measure, one simply takes the special school procedure because the children's grades are not bad enough to simply 'throw them away'. I assume that they have always been successful with it so far. Because it really sounds like they do that quite often. And after you noticed in the 2nd conversation with Sl that I am not a stupid mom who is now screaming at her children so that they can then feel or who simply takes their children and leaves, SL wanted to show who is in charge of the house is. He called Lukas a little anarchist who fell in love with himself and who needs something behind the spoons! I only see one anarchist falling in love with the whole thing !!!!!! It's haywire here in schools. Socially disadvantaged, 70% (or even more) children with a migrant background. The reputation of a school quickly suffers. And so you can get rid of 2 exhausting children in one fell swoop! That is how they seem to tick. (I have more theories, but I don't want to express them here, because I am touching the problem of migration and that is often misinterpreted) ______________________________________ After the first conversation I started to write everything down until then and everything else always the same written down! Since the information from KL was mostly sent by e-mail, it is available in black and white. I also gave the lawyer by the hand. I think the education authority is involved here now because I submitted an application to my youth welfare office for integration helpers for Julian and the education authority is also involved. Since SL has handed the matter over to the district government, they are in the picture. Should I really follow up on that now? When I read your remarks (and also that of Danny), the time is right now playing for us in the special school procedure. or do I see it too simply? As long as this check up to the result is pending, aren't all career recommendations void ?! ______________________ I am not sending you the link Sun School, because that is the wrong school. (I will send you the one from the right person by PM) This is the school for the sick - so the hospital school! They have with Sondepäd. Funding needs nothing to do with the hat. That was another point where I soon jumped out of my pants - SL explains to me that he has already carried out such a procedure a few times (and always been right), but he single-mindedly names the completely wrong school. Now that my nerves have slowly but surely calmed down a bit and my fighting spirit has the upper hand again, I really only think that the SL has no idea at all and that it has obviously never been challenged. As for your alternative suggestion: of course I can go to school with Julian - but as far as I know, that's not even necessary. SL did not know that Julian was currently a therapist. has, he has still bothered to inquire about the history - and there are one or two reports about my child. And in every report only the SUSPICTION of ADHD is expressed, therapeutic suggestions are in short supply and, in principle, a child CANNOT be singled out because of ADHD. Or is my information wrong? Of course, the school year only has 12 weeks left - but why am I in a hurry then? Then July comes to the 6th grade and we keep waiting. The medicinet is working and Juli is feeling good. And the therap. still has some time to work with him. At the moment, I see it in such a way that time is playing for us and that we also gain the time we need to check and weigh up all the alternatives. I have already stretched out my feelers and will definitely use every B vitamin that is available to me. Now just 2 sentences about medicinet or medication in this case: An optimal dosage is so individual that you have to feel it yourself. We're doing that right now. For a long time I resisted giving something to my children because I didn't want to 'turn them off' or keep them quiet. Now I have learned, however, that one would not take the crutch away from a one-legged person either - it took me a few years for this insight! I don't see that as the ultimate solution either. But the therap. suggested that to us and looked after the whole thing together with the pediatrician. In any case, the MEdikinet seems to be doing its job. The boys are in a good mood, feel good and tell me that they are doing better at school - no anger, no anger ...... I also have to say that for myself in the past few weeks it has been very much changed a lot. Since we have extremely close contact with my parents, my ma is completely integrated into everything. After all that we now know, everyone here agrees that I am also an ADHD sufferer. I think needless to say how this has affected domestic peace so far. And that, too, has changed massively. Here we treat each other more lovingly and we have a completely different understanding of one another. Maybe it's also because I finally understood that my boys COULD not behave any differently! They didn't want to annoy me or they were just badly brought up - they just CANNOT do certain things. And the realization has brought us miles forward here. Ready! How good that there is no character limit here;): sorry: Also yes - I wanted to get rid of that: I'm so happy to have found you here! I've been looking forward to powering up my Lappi and reading your messages all day. Thank you for that!: Thank you: I hope I can take a break one day! Lg Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 14th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Dear Else, You are now another mom who shows me 'I'm with you' I still don't understand why life is still so difficult for us ADHD sufferers and those affected! Twenty years ago, an ancient phenomenon was given a name - ADHD - and to this day, many of those who matter have nothing to do with it. And all of this is carried out on the back of innocent children! It is to cry for! Dear Danny, may I get rid of a few questions for you? Are you a teacher at a high school in North Rhine-Westphalia? Can you say how many people with ADHD are among your students? Or, in your opinion, is it also the case that ADHD people don't even get to high school? Please don't get this question wrong. But that's a theory among my non-virtual discussion partners on this topic: You can't deal with my children at our high school because you don't even know such children and therefore don't have to deal with this topic ?! It would be nice to hear your opinion. LG Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 14th, 2010 at 11:37 pm
Good morning Kalo, I read your reports with a lot of interest, yes, the knowledge about AD (H) D in the schools, well, I often ask myself why they are so unprofessional about it? I think there should be a compulsory training course for teachers in dealing with children with behavioral problems, because the reactions to children with problems often result from sheer helplessness and ignorance. We also went through hell in the 3.5 years of school. Sometimes I had the feeling with Moritz his teachers that they didn't want to look, they always accused me of my son being unable to concentrate, that he was restless, impulsive, ... but not because of one thing. ADHD, NO ..... because my husband and I are not able to raise him consistently, I thought I wasn't listening properly. These were just small examples for us. I think Kalo, we as affected parents should write a book about what we have experienced over the years.
Submitted by Else on April 15, 2010 at 8:13 am
When I and my son (he also has ADD) FINALLY came across a doctor who specialized in this, she first took the pressure off us that WE were doing everything wrong. If things don't go well with children, mistakes are easily looked for in the parents. That may also be the case, parents also make mistakes, but whoever has a child with ADD / ADHD can do what he / she wants, the problems will not be solved. That would be so great for us to hear that! She also said that if we, even though ADD is really proven and the child is suffering (and ours suffered!), There is failure to provide assistance NOT to give medication. We found it so difficult to do that! The drug is glasses for the children and glasses for the visually impaired! Our son has been taking it since 3rd grade and it has ensured that he can show what he CAN do in school and it has contributed immensely to the peace at home here. The only thing that is still difficult is that it is just very slow. A child with ADD takes on average 8 to 14 times as long to learn a thing as a child without ADD! Kalo, it was good for us to experience, our child couldn't help it. Much of the burden he did not to annoy us, but because he couldn't help it. But I still have to remind myself of that today!: Laugh: There is no school support (integration aid) for ADS_children in Lower Saxony! This is only approved for autistic children! LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 15th, 2010 at 10:29 am
Hello kalo, I think I can already say how many such children we have here. But I can only appreciate it because we do not keep statistics about it, and the entire college is not informed.Most of the time, we don't find out until the parents' day when we invite the parents to talk about their children's abnormal behavior. Our school-internal information policy is really under all pig. But well, that wasn't the question: to laugh: I know about 5 children with AD (H) D at our school. we also have an autistic boy. With almost 1500 students. However, I estimate that the number of undiscovered AD (H) Sler is much higher. We are more of a social hotspot here (at least for our city here) with a high proportion of foreigners. We are, so to speak, the remainder of the high schools, who wants to send their child to a school in the district with the highest crime rate ?! I think the parents of many of our foreign students don't even know what AD (H) D is, let alone that they can recognize it. But I know 100% that a high school here in the city generally rejects children with AD (H) D. But they also reject children with learning difficulties. Anything that is problematic and / or could pull the school cut down. I can tell you a little about myself about how to deal with AD (H) Slern. Last year I was a class teacher in a 7th grade. At the beginning of the year a new boy had come into the class. He immediately struck me as a real unfocused dreamer. He wasn't stupid and had no problems with the school material itself, rather sticking with it. At the parents' day, I asked the mother if her son was like that at home too. She then told me tearfully that her son had ADD and that they had had problems with the teachers at the old school because of it. Nobody would have understood her, her son was labeled stupid, unwilling and impudent. She was terrified that I would react the same way. When I told her that I knew about ADD (because of my son) she cried even more and said that it was incredibly lucky that her son had come across me and that he might finally get another chance. She looked like she hadn't just fallen ONE stone from her heart. Apparently, at both of her son's previous high schools, any teacher had ever attended further training on this subject, read a book or looked up information on the Internet. It doesn't look any better with us in the college. Apart from me, nobody has a clue. And my knowledge is only limited. I would say that many such children do not even get a chance or, if they have to be taken, hardly make it to high school.
Submitted by Danny4 on April 15th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
@danny: is not that but actually a pathetic testimony for teachers. Because ADD and ADHD happen all the time now! I find it sad that in the secondary schools, especially high schools, it is not the teachers who train and inform themselves about this topic.
Submitted by jodatz on April 15, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Of course it's pathetic, jodatz. But nobody really does anything against it. And the lack of knowledge about ADD and / or learning disabilities is not the only problem. : mmm:
Submitted by Danny4 on April 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Danny - You say that unfortunately no one is doing anything about it. But why is it like that? the topic is somehow on everyone's lips, is also sometimes more and sometimes less well processed in the press and the school administrators also have to see a light when there are special school applications, applications for integration assistance and so on ?! Is it the job of us as parents concerned to create a lobby for this problem? But how? At that time (it was 6 years ago) our teachers in the kindergarten received further training on ADHD problems. Why is there no such thing for teachers? The need is there in any case. @ Jodatz: that especially high school teachers do not (can / do not want to) further educate themselves on this topic is probably due to the fact that many of them still take the view that 'such' children do not belong to a high school. The unstructuredness and forgetfulness of children is often interpreted as a lack of intelligence - and stupid children don't belong in a high school! And why should you grapple with something that you can easily get rid of? I know that by far not all teachers are like that and that they too have to struggle with the system - but then one should rather try together to change something in the system than make each other's lives hell. After all, this is about the future of our children and thus the future of our country - that should actually be worth a little effort for EVERYONE. But I know that unfortunately I belong to an absolute minority with this opinion. LG Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 18th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Oh, man, I just wrote a long answer here and now it's gone! By and large it said that the system was to blame! Maybe I'll repeat that later, at the moment I don't feel like it!: Laugh: LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 18th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Of course you are right. There are such further training courses. When I wanted to do one it was said, 'You only have half a job and therefore a lot of time. Do it in your free time! ': Eek: And now I don't want that either. I already teach two history courses in my 'free time', give free tutoring and at the moment I feel like life counseling for my students and all because I enjoy it so much: irony:
Submitted by Danny4 on April 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm
I can go back to that because it affects the content of my missing mail from yesterday. I think teachers today have SOO many tasks to deal with in addition to purely school-based tasks. The classes are just too big. 30-35 students with their different requirements: ADD / ADHD, LRS, poor numeracy, social problems, family problems etc.etc. And there are training courses on so many important topics! I think, given the class sizes, it is probably no longer affordable to be trained in everything! The hours you actually have as a teacher are often not even enough for regular lessons (preparation, corrections, etc.) Certainly there are also one or the other non-committed teacher, but on the whole - in my opinion - it is more likely the system from which it suffers! And as a parent and student, as well as a teacher, you are more or less at the mercy of it! e Actually, as much as you hear about shit about school here, we should all constantly go out on the streets and fight for better conditions! Danny, I understand you well! Teachers also have to have a day off! LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm
We should definitely do that - but who does the work or has the time to organize something? I also believe that there would be more teachers involved in such demonstrations than one would generally like to believe. They are also not happy with the situation - I still believe that most of them have become teachers because they believed they could change / improve something. The fact is, however, that the education of our children should concern EVERYONE, because we are raising the next generation in Germany. Unfortunately, few see it that way - including a lot of parents who already don't care what happens to their children. The state will take care of them too! The whole system is sick and as a parent you are simply affected twice to the power of 2. LG Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 19, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Doesn't that prove once again that our 'great' school system finally needs a change? The reason why some schools praise themselves for the green clover on their websites is obvious. What is not easy to care for is sorted out. For my son, the elementary school years looked like the class teacher stamped 'ADHD' on every boy, and the parents prodded them to give the child Ritalin, or even accused the upbringing had failed because the child did not adhere to the rules. When asked what kind of consequences she followed in the event of misconduct, she kept talking about the bush. Of course, the hands of the teachers today are unfortunately tied. The child must not be put in a corner because it will interfere with class, and so on. The consequences are mostly only annoyed roars, or detention in the form of letters, which is completely incoherent to the matter of the act itself. Of course, respect for the teachers suffers from the roar. It is a vicious cycle that can only be put to an end with patience and good persuasion. Unfortunately, however, teachers are often unwilling to do this. As with classes with up to 35 students. The next catch, the class size. Unfortunately, teachers no longer have time to deal with individual students and tend to stubbornly go through their material. The children feel as if they are already fully involved in the hectic working life of an adult. And those who do not work according to the system are disgusted, because you cannot use unpleasant children in the decorated school chronicle. Our politicians could slowly start to turn the school system upside down, but that costs money and we would have to hire even more teachers. Then the money is better put into the renovation of the school facade, because at least one can see immediately what one has achieved. : crazzy: Last year my son was also tried to be expelled, with references to chewing gum in class, to take the cell phone out of his pocket in the stairwell, to get up in class to adjust his pants quickly. My hat string goes up, and on top of that I wonder whether he's in school or in jail. And honestly, none of us were always the best at school, or we screamed with rage at one point or another. There was, at least for me, a factual discussion with the teacher concerned and the headmaster, and then it was all right again. The teacher was not resentful, nor did he constantly hold the former offense against you. Apparently the teachers get annoyed with every little thing today, and then give that kid a peck for the rest of the time. :angry:
Submitted by Nanu on April 22nd, 2010 at 9:36 am
....I can only agree! Well, you speak out of my soul
Submitted by Else on April 22nd, 2010 at 9:40 am
I can only agree with you, well. I also feel that at some point and somewhere in recent years the respect between teachers, students and parents has been lost. And so, of course, cooperation is no longer possible. A few days ago there was a short report on ZDF about the introduction of the 6-year compulsory primary school in Berlin. Among other things, there was a word amount from a headmistress of a grammar school that almost exclusively children of academics attended. She was against this extension of primary school because, as a secondary school, it influences the development of children's values ​​early on. In addition, the school would be very humanistic and attach so much importance to Latin and ancient Greek. A primary school couldn't do all of that. The school sentence of the report summarized a major problem in our school system for me: 'In Germany, almost every 6th young person leaves school without sufficient knowledge of German. On the other hand, a small percentage speak Latin and ancient Greek. ' And that's how it is, isn't it? We have a small elite and the rest can see where they are.
Submitted by Danny4 on April 22nd, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I think parents and teachers work against each other too often too. Some teachers are said to be almost afraid of their parents; some parents no longer enter school because they are at odds with teachers. Most of the time, the problem is neither parents nor teachers, but the system! It really is about time that parents, teachers and students work together against this system. The problem is that everyone fears the short-term consequences. Nobody wants to take anything on the back of their own child. This leads to our antiquated school system being continued! Really nice ... !!! LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 22nd, 2010 at 3:56 pm
No, I don't blame the parents, the teachers, or the children either. Guilt are those who sit far away from real life, and enact laws for just that, and wait for it to remain as nice and bureaucratic as it is, and changes only go gaaaaaaanz slowly, should any take place at all. As already described in my other post, I often ask myself whether our politicians want to keep us stupid from an early age and better maneuver our children into a hectic working life, or whether they really have no idea what bullshit they are doing mortise. I don't think I've ever seen a politician (except for Gregor Gysi, he mustn't have anything to report anyway) who talks briskly and says how it is, and that it's just crap. Instead, it is screwed around, and grown, and somewhere a little cog further turned, so that we would have to think, yes, something is going on, but we seem to be just guinea pigs who should be immobilized for a while because small pieces of carrot were thrown at them. Shit, I'm writing myself in a rage, and I'd better stop first and have a cup of tea.
Submitted by Nanu on April 22nd, 2010 at 4:27 pm
I can't really help you kalo, but I can empathize with you very well. My daughter is 7 and has ADD and numeracy problems. Your class teacher and the headmistress have been threatening us with reprimand for a long time, people call here every day and someone complains about my daughter's misconduct or I get a nice letter on this subject. The remark that Laura would have been better off at a special school has also been made but was never properly addressed. They don't dare to do that yet.
Submitted by Rainbow on April 22nd, 2010 at 4:34 pm
The dear system !!!!!!! let's be honest - EVERYONE knows it's nice ....... but nobody really dares to do it. Improvements in baby steps are conceived and then each school can decide whether and when they want to play along! How stupid! E.g. the double hour system. It's great - but it's still not taught in all schools! And if you try to get your child through this system somehow (maybe still halfway intact), you get sticks between your legs and the hint that you don't want your child to be adapted to the system with Medis just because you want them to the child has a fair chance of a recognized school leaving certificate and does not have to go to the ARGE with a special school leaving certificate. SORRY; hard words - but I'm really annoyed and in the end !!!!! @ Rainbow. I would have nothing against a special school for my child - if there was one that Julian would really PROMOTE. But my child is very lucky not to have to struggle with any additional teaching weaknesses. He has a good general education and can e.g. memorize a poem by listening to his brother recite it over and over again. ) Say the typical half-read half-read if you want to learn it.) If my child could be taught in a class with 8-12 children, he would probably be really good. Provided he's not bored. If there were such a school, I would send my children there immediately - even if it were a special or special school. The main thing is that the children receive appropriate support and get a good degree. But unfortunately there is no such thing. There are 1oer 2 boarding schools in the east - but unfortunately I can't afford them, especially not for 2 children. So I continue to fight for the rights of my children and if I'm a little lucky, it might set a precedent that can help other parents to get their children through the system safely as well - because unfortunately we won't change that, at least not so fast that our children still benefit from it. LG Kalo P.S: I'm so scared of this shitty special school procedure! And that this is on the way, the district government has now confirmed and announced that talks had taken place! (Obviously no one is interested in how they have expired). I just cry today. And my children have been doing so great at school since the holidays. Julian collapses if he has to get out of there now!
Submitted by kalo on April 22nd, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Kalo what you write hits completely ind blacks: great: I also fight for the same reasons. And I think success is in sight. Don't want to scream at it. But after our daughter was tested for special needs and it was found that no one passed: great: she is now getting an intregation.:juhuu: But I tell you a hard and long way.:eek: Because she is also good at school and at which Should she go to special school then? If she had bad grades, then I would say OK, such a special school helps her.
Submitted by Marita on April 23, 2010 at 7:34 am
Hello Marita, first of all, congratulations on your victory over the system! And then a big thank you, because that gives me courage that we will decide in favor of Julian here too. : Thank you: In which class / type of school is your daughter and why is she on special pedigree.Have the need for funding tested? Did you agree with the procedure? And how long did it take? It would be great if you LIKE to answer my questions! I'm completely blown away again, because I found out on Friday that the matter was going into the next round. The district government informed our lawyer ON REQUEST that proceedings had been initiated and that discussions had finally taken place with us. Right, they have. But 'your son is at a public School cannot be schooled, I will initiate a special school procedure so that Julian can then go to the special school 'as a conversation starter - counseling is different. and how much value is the conversation held afterwards? I just cried and didn't even realize what he was doing. Well no matter! Let's see what happens now. Please keep me up to date on how things are going with the integration assistant at your place. I applied for one at the youth welfare office regardless of the procedure, but heard from many people that you may get approved, but none will be allocated because there is no money to pay for it. I would be interested in how it works for you. LG Kalo
Submitted by kalo on April 25th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
So now she is in secondary school. I've been fighting since day one of school. The headmistress of the first school wanted to deport her right away, but she didn't understand. It would be bad upbringing, etc.: angry: Then I had them tested. She would have ADHD. At school itself, she couldn't get a leg on the floor no matter how hard she tried. Now we were lucky that she went to school in a different district anyway because I had her in all-day school. So I could have them changed after the 2nd grade. In the meantime I had also brought in a psychologist and she was also hired. It got a lot better but her outbursts were still coming. But it improved to the extent that we got the recommendation from the secondary school. Now the change and the switch to another drug had to take effect first. But I said it when I registered for Real. It was very difficult at the beginning. We had a lot of conversations and turned on the school psychology service. At the youth welfare office I submitted an application for educational assistance. We also agreed to a review. All certified that an intregation helps because it has good grades. The school asked for help - understandable. And now the youth office sends someone to the school where you can help with certain things.
Submitted by Marita on April 25th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Well. Unfortunately, our case is a little different, because the high school has initiated the review on its own. We didn't agree - which is also due to the fact that we just love the nature and meadow. We have only now decided in favor of Medis (after the procedure was initiated) - but they seem to be doing well. I'm really curious, because next Wednesday is Elternspechtag - let's see what else we can hear. Unfortunately I will have to write everything down and also ask the teachers to counter-sign this conversation note. At least I have to be able to prove what we're being told. It's awesome what you do with our children today. There are a bunch of intelligent children who are simply sorted out because they are not easy to care for, environmentally friendly and washable. My pediatrician once said, 'In the past, such people were the heroes, because they could still do it when everyone else was already exhausted' - today, as a parent, you have to muster so much energy to protect your children from such procedures and to treat the children let that you hardly know yourself where your head is. We also have to look after one or the other child, handle the typical tasks of a housewife and mother and how many of us also go to work? And everyone complains that they are so overwhelmed in their jobs! Nobody likes to swap, because in principle we do hard work on more than one front every day - and then as part-time employees and - mum is smiled at. Sometimes I can just ......... LG Kalo P.S. Because it's all so easy to handle, we also got a Wauzi today. My boys have wanted a (new) dog for so long and I've read more than once that the right dog for ADHD children should be extremely good.
Submitted by kalo on April 25, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Well I think if I hadn't agreed they would have initiated one too. Because at the final meeting of the review, the woman told me that Saskia was checked. I said I know She looked at me and said many would fall out of the clouds. An animal is certainly not bad. We also have a hangover and she loves him more than anything.: D I was also afraid of the result and shivered. But my gut feeling was right. Now it just has to work. :)
Submitted by Marita on April 25th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
I keep my fingers crossed for you - especially Saskia - that she gets the problems under control with the integration helper !!!!!!!!!!!!! We only learned that they could not have our child checked without letting us know. By the way, our therapist 'objected' to schooling at a special school, because the massive problems arose as a result of the change of school and one does not expect such a child switching to more than necessary. And we didn't agree to the whole thing, because I hardly believe that a special school teacher will be able to judge in a few hours what therapists have not found out in 6 years. It took us every 6 years until the suspicion of ADHD became a real diagnosis - so July is not such an easy case - if you can say that at SDHA, because all cases are completely individual. We already have animals. July has a guinea pig and Luki has decided on an aquarium, but I think the dog will be good for us all. LG Kalo
Posted by kalo on April 25th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
I keep my fingers crossed for you too. Maybe everything is going more positively than you think?: Mmm:
Submitted by Marita on April 26th, 2010 at 7:27 am
Tomorrow kalo, I absolutely agree with you when it comes to the resilience of parents and especially mothers of ADHD children. The sayings of my former. Colleagues still ring in my ear, you're a hobby sister, with half your job. That always really pissed me off. I had to justify myself because I did not do night duty from colleagues who have no children. Sometimes I really got into a mess with people. I'm now doing night shift in my new job, but I'll fight to make sure that I can only do it on weekends, that's the way it is: mmm: ..... but you have to fight for it, like in so many areas, Oh man i'm so sorry too and when i read that from you, then i know exactly how you feel, but you love your children and then you know what you are doing all this for.
Submitted by Else on April 26th, 2010 at 8:38 am
Hello, I rarely read actively and that's why I still have to unravel this post from the past ...: mmm: I can't help it * sorry * ... Yes, I know that from my work in primary schools too that clear consequences are not sustainable enough. The GS teachers would have liked to wash it lukewarm, and I find the rare, loud, regular announcements to conspicuous GS students beneficial (not screaming, but LOUD and CLEAR and UNMISTAKABLE). What bumps up to me here, however, is the question of what the school is doing ... AND WHAT do the parents do, how do they support the school ... HOW do they take action against disruptive behavior of the children in class? You can't always push the stuff to school. Sorry, but that has to be said once. Here too ... I'm sorry, but just railing against the school doesn't help. Yes, I also know from my work in primary schools that clear consequences are not sustainable enough. The GS teachers would have liked to wash it lukewarm, and I find the rare, loud, regular announcements to conspicuous GS students beneficial (not screaming, but LOUD and CLEAR and UNMISTAKABLE). What bumps up to me here, however, is the question of what the school is doing ... AND WHAT do the parents do, how do they support the school ... HOW do they take action against disruptive behavior of the children in class? You can't always push the stuff to school. Sorry, but that has to be said once. Here too ... I'm sorry, but just railing against the school doesn't help. Yes, I also know from my work in primary schools that clear consequences are not sustainable enough. The GS teachers would have liked to wash it lukewarm, and I find the rare, loud, regular announcements to conspicuous GS students beneficial (not screaming, but LOUD and CLEAR and UNMISTAKABLE). What bumps up to me here, however, is the question of what the school is doing ... AND WHAT do the parents do, how do they support the school ... HOW do they take action against disruptive behavior of the children in class? You can't always push the stuff to school. Sorry, but that has to be said once. Here too ... I'm sorry, but just railing against the school doesn't help. Yes, I also know from my work in primary schools that clear consequences are not sustainable enough. The GS teachers would have liked to wash it lukewarm, and I find the rare, loud, regular announcements to conspicuous GS students beneficial (not screaming, but LOUD and CLEAR and UNMISTAKABLE). What bumps up to me here, however, is the question of what the school is doing ... AND WHAT do the parents do, how do they support the school ... HOW do they take action against disruptive behavior in the classroom? You can't always push the stuff to school. Sorry, but that also has to be said once. Here too ... I'm sorry, but just railing against the school doesn't help. Yes, I also know from my work in primary schools that clear consequences are not sustainable enough. The GS teachers would have liked to wash it lukewarm, and I find the rare, loud, regular announcements to conspicuous GS students beneficial (not screaming, but LOUD and CLEAR and UNMISTAKABLE). What bumps up to me here, however, is the question of what the school is doing ... AND WHAT do the parents do, how do they support the school ... HOW do they take action against disruptive behavior in the classroom? You can't always push the stuff to school. Sorry, but that also has to be said once. Here too ... I'm sorry, but just railing against the school doesn't help. [QUOTE = Nanu; 351598] Of course, the teachers today have their hands tied. The child must not be put in a corner because it will interfere with class, and so on. The consequences are mostly only entne
Submitted by Deala on April 26th, 2010 at 9:47 am
Kalo, WHEN - for God's sake - do they still want to test? I no longer understand that at all with you. Can you send me the link from the school via PM? I would be very interested. I have now read everything in disbelief. How far is this school from you that your son is supposed to go to ... And above all, how is the school currently?
Submitted by Deala on April 26th, 2010 at 9:51 am
Deala, you write, you are not making friends here. That may be true for some, but I largely agree with you! Certainly there have been reports of many unpleasant incidents that are not allowed to happen, but in general I often have the impression here: the main thing is against school! With many! And that just doesn't work, I've already written somewhere! School and parents have to work together, not against each other !!! I also see it as a very big problem in terms of respect when school at home and teachers in particular are badmouthed! In our country there are some cases where the teachers do not talk to the teachers at all (if ... then) (and these are then conference resolutions), where the parents DO NOT talk to the teachers anymore. That can't be it! And there are catalogs of measures, we recently even set up one for the care hour. And we stick to it, because there is no other way! Not everyone can do what they want without consequences! And since you don't fly because you chew chewing gum! That would certainly be exaggerated, but I still agree with you, Deala, that if there is a ban on chewing gum, the students also have to adhere to it! So here I often have the impression that the dissatisfaction with the ailing system is often carried out at the expense of the teachers, who themselves criticize it the most! LG hanja
Submitted by hanja on April 26th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Hanja,: thank you: I thought I could log out here right now. Unfortunately, I know just such and similar arguments from hundreds of class conferences, where US is held up to do nothing, but everything we want is ridiculed. And that just doesn't work. School must have a common denominator of rules. And these are usually determined with the participation of pupils. For example, I am a trust teacher and spend tens of student council meetings talking to the students about school life. And quite honestly ... THEIR suggestions for measures against conspicuous students are sometimes much harder than what we want: D. Medieval methods are nothing against it ...
Submitted by Deala on April 26th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
For my part, I take a very diplomatic approach, as I definitely don't want to go against the teachers, and I can understand the teachers well when they are overwhelmed. It is also perfectly clear to me that all children are little terroists and one has to make it clear to them that this is not the case. As with the cell phone, and chewing gum mentioned below. However, it always bothers me that I only see the references, even though I offered at the beginning of the school year you can contact me if something is wrong, even by email that I left. A quick phone call would have done it. The problem is that the kids don't say anything at home, and then a reference flutters into the house, and as parents you can only react and follow the consequences, which is either omitted in the child's memory because it is unimportant, or it is the matter turned so right that it wasn't at all to blame. Me as
Posted by Nanu on April 26th, 2010 at 13:00