How do you reconcile work and marriage
To reconcile, honey! 6 honest tips from mother to mother
Combining child and career is not a pony farm. Grumbling doesn't help either. If you want the best of both worlds, you need a strategy. 8 honest tips from author and mother Linda Freutel.
It is not easy to reconcile a child and a career. If you want the best of both worlds, you need a strategy. Image: Getty Images, sorbetto
What was often unthinkable for our mothers is now common practice: Men help with the household, mothers go back to work soon after the birth and society tries as best it can to achieve a balance between men and women. At least that's the theory. The practice is often less in balance.
To the author
Linda Freutel lives with her little son in Hanover. For family life, the freelance author always shakes loose, fluffy texts out of her sleeve in her home office on time. How she does it has been her well-kept secret so far.
Performance and time pressure, missed tasks and a permanent guilty conscience regularly drive the family stress level to a maximum - and parental energy reserves plummet.
On paper, the work-life balance looked a lot easier. But is that why you give up? Often this is not possible from an economic point of view. Mothers also work for a nice apartment, great vacations, hobbies for the kids and the pension fund.
And somehow not from ideal either. Generations before us have fought with sweat and passion to ensure that women do not go to waste "behind the stove". So let's finish it.
To reconcile, honey!
1 Switch to stubborn
No matter how you do it, you do it wrong. Anyone who gives their child outside care at an early age receives the bad mother stamp. On the other hand, those who do not go to work are considered old-fashioned mother hen. Swipes like this are so flat that we can't take them seriously in the slightest. And that's exactly what you should be doing.
Affording a cleaning lady is no longer a luxury these days. And certainly not a sign of your own inadequacy. Rather, it is the well-deserved decision for a healthy work-life balance. And thus a step in the right direction. The same also applies to all other ancillary activities that can be outsourced, such as mowing the lawn, gardening or ironing.
3 working together
Working parents have to pull together. And that's exactly why car pools or other collaborations can be created with one another. For example, parents can alternately take the children to school or kindergarten, and in return another family picks them up. Parents can also share whole afternoons, cook lunch or look after their homework as neighbors.
4 preliminary work
Anyone who has several hungry mouths to feed at the same time knows how much time shopping and cooking take up. Save yourself this investment by buying hamsters and smart precooking strategies. Incidentally, with large quantities it also makes sense to use the delivery service of many supermarkets; that saves time and stress. And when it comes to cooking, the following applies: if you spend an evening cooking, portioning and freezing alone, you have less to do during the week.
5 Healthy egoism
A modern work-life balance does not work through good organization, but through a good feeling. Only when everyone involved feels good and at ease does the family and career benefit from this atmosphere. It is therefore more important than perfection and punctuality to do justice to yourself personally. And for that you have to be able to say no from time to time and take time for your own needs. Not because you are an egoist, but on the contrary; because it doesn't work without you. So make sure you are happy, healthy, and balanced.
6 Put emphasis on the essentials
The less there is to worry about, the better. In everyday life between child and career there is not much room for useless ballast. Think carefully about what you and your family really value. Cancel invitations if they are too stressful for you. Don't let yourself be persuaded to do things you don't feel like doing.
How do you do it? Write us your best tips and tricks in a comment. Sharing is caring.
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