Does your bartender like you

Gastronomy is arguably the largest drama school in the world. No matter how annoying your guest is, you stay cool, friendly and give a more or less competent answer.
But what if you answered completely honestly? What is the difference between a said and an intended answer? And what would you like to say directly to your face?



1. What do I recommend to you? Damn it, look at the menu and act like you've been to a bar before!

2. I have no idea what cocktail you're talking about, but I'll go back and google that…!

3. Tequila? Do you want it disgusting, not so disgusting, or do you want to impress someone with your money?

4. Here's your € 12 cocktail with the cheapest booze we have in the store. Bottom up!

5. I hate you for your crappy drink order!

6. Long Island Ice Tea? Since it contains way too much alcohol for the price anyway, I don't give a shit if it tastes like sewage!

7. Oh, you think I'm wearing this clip so I can get your phone number? …give me your money!

8. We are not friends! And i don't like you!

9. I poured you the wrong wine. But I'm sure you won't taste the difference anyway.

10. The cocktail nice and strong? Screw you!

11. Is it strong enough this time? It's the same drink, but I put some rum in the straw.

12. I don't have to shake the cocktail that long. But it just looks damn cool!

13. I'll make your drink weaker because you're turning into a drunk asshole.

14. This is just sprite and juice, but I'm sure you're too drunk to realize this.

15. You were here first, but she is prettier than you. That's why I serve HER first!

16.… I have no idea what you are talking about, but you are alone, desperate and give good tips.

17. The last lap was 20 minutes ago. Get your ass out of here!

18. We also have a menu. You don't always have to steal olives when you think I don't see it!

19. What do I do after work? Nothing with you!

20. I can't remember what you ordered because I'm drunk.

21. I'm just smiling so I can tip as much as possible.

22. Hahahahahaha… I'm laughing at your stupid joke out of politeness.

23. I wasn't in the kitchen and asked if your special requests were possible. I was just behind the bar, counted to ten, came back to say "no".

24. Yes, I caught you staring at my breasts. No, they are not on the menu.

25. Your meal takes so long that I completely forgot about you!

26. Be nice to me and I'll be nice to your food!

27. You don't know whether you like an old-fashioned or a Negroni today? And how the hell am I supposed to help you now?

28. Put down your fucking cell phone. Or at least look at me when you order!

29. If your cell phone is still on the cocktail napkin in 3 seconds, I'll just put your drink on it.

30. Your order only took so long because I pretended I couldn't find you after you changed tables.

Which answers do you sometimes have to resist?