Is bisexuality a natural sexual orientation

Not just "a phase": what it really means to be bisexual

Drawers are certainly helpful for certain topics, but not for bisexuality. Because it cannot be said exactly where a bisexual orientation begins and a heterosexual or homosexual one ends. Is it bi when you are in a relationship with a man as a woman but dream of sex with women? Or do you have to live out your bisexual dreams in order to be bisexual?

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The Kinsey scale

When it comes to sexual orientation, there is a very helpful scale from the US sex researcher Alfred Charles Kinsey from 1948. It ranges from zero to six, with zero for heterosexual and six for homosexual. The steps in between are for bisexual.

This scale with the different numbers is a pretty good picture to imagine bisexuality: Because it starts somewhere and ends somewhere, it has different characteristics and it cannot be precisely defined - at least not as clearly as the sexual preferences of a lesbian Woman or a straight man.

Bisexuality is extremely diverse

And so life with bisexuality is also completely different. Many bisexual-oriented people do not necessarily live out their bisexuality. For some, the knowledge that they are bi alone is ok and sufficient.

In practice, however, they live in a purely homosexual or heterosexual relationship. Others live in phases with a same-sex partner and in phases with an opposite-sex partner.

In turn, other bisexuals think for a long time that they are homosexual and are then completely irritated when they suddenly feel drawn to the opposite sex, for example when a lesbian woman catches herself fond of men.

Bisexuality is often not taken seriously

Sayings such as: "A little bit of bi is never harmful" and the fact that stars and starlets call themselves bi and kiss and hold hands in public show that one never takes bisexuality so seriously, and thus attract media attention.

In some areas, such as the music and film industries, it is certainly chic to be bisexual as well. Unfortunately, this also means that many bisexual people struggle with being accused of only trying to make themselves interesting.

Which of course is nonsense. After all, which bisexual loving person would come out as bisexual just for purely marketing purposes? After all, bisexuality is not always seen as just wild and exciting, but often also as indecision or as a pure phase, until one has then clearly decided on a direction, i.e. heterosexual or homosexual.

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Reservations also within the community

Even within the homosexual, lesbian and transsexual community, it is not always easy for bisexuals to be taken seriously. Of course, everyone is fighting together against stereotyped thinking and for the right to love and live as one wants without being discriminated against.

But it is not uncommon for bisexuality within the community to be seen as nothing half and nothing as a whole, as if one keeps all options open. You simply do not believe that they are really bisexual.

Science disagrees

And there are actually scientists who say that you are only bisexual because social pressure prevents you from being open about your homosexuality. So you leave a back door open, for example when a man has started a family with his partner, but also wants to be with men at the same time. Here one likes to assume that bisexuals would not dare to come out clearly as homosexual.

Indeed, science is still divided on the subject of bisexuality. Some scientists see exactly that in bisexual love: just a phase that you go through, especially at a young age, before you have clearly oriented yourself sexually. Others, on the other hand, see it as proven in their studies that bisexuality is an independent sexual orientation and not a transition phase.

Bisexual is not always polyamorous

Bisexual people don't have it easy in their partnerships either. Because the preference for both genders naturally creates a lot of uncertainty. Can the partner never be completely sure because he always has to think that the other is missing something? After all, he feels attracted to women and men, and you can only serve one longing.

The answer is clear: bisexuality only means that you can imagine more with both genders, and not that you have to live out both at the same time and live polyamorous, i.e. not monogamous. Bisexual people are sure to be as loyal or unfaithful as anyone else.

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Aren't we all a little bit bi?

The aforementioned study by Alfred Kinsey should be mentioned once again: Of the 11,000 men surveyed by Kinsey, 90 to 95 percent stated that they were to a certain degree bisexual, e.g. having dreamed of someone same-sex during sex, physically attracting them found or got closer to him physically.

Kinsey's conclusion: In principle, each of us is both heterosexual and homosexual. Most of them don't live out one side of it, however. An assumption which, by the way, was also held by Sigmund Freud.

A current survey by showed different figures. Only five percent of women and three percent of men said they were bisexual. After all, ten percent of users and eight percent of users had sex with the opposite sex. 25 percent of women and ten percent of men had already smooched with same-sex partners or had other erotic experiences.

Regardless of whether you believe Freud, Kinsey or current polls: The numbers show one thing very clearly: We should urgently stop thinking in boxes.

Here are some more informative pages:

German Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality

TransInterQueer e.V.