Who wants to be my life partner

Happiness in love thanks to positive psychology

Paul and Lena moved in together a few weeks ago. The two have only been a couple for nine months, but they couldn't wait to finally have a home together. Unfortunately, this has also created problems. Suddenly Paul no longer greets Lena with joy - to put it mildly. A few days ago he even just sat in front of the TV when Lena came home after a long day at work. For a while she stood helpless and with sagging shoulders in the hallway, looked over at Paul - and first went to the café. To think about. Lena is worried. And rightly so, I think.

“How do I change my partner?” Is one of the basic questions of every modern partnership. In their search for answers, those involved have so far been largely in the dark. There are reasons. Many relationship experts claim that changing your partner is impossible. Well-meaning friends also cut into this notch. Science comes to the opposite result: in a long-term stable partnership, both partners usually change profoundly. Everyone looks at something from the other. And so the partners become more and more similar over time - also in character.

But is it even necessary to change the partner's character in order to be happy and content? Good question. The answer is: not necessarily. Far more flexible than our character is a completely different part of us that has a great influence on a partnership - our behavior. And the behavior is also much easier to change.

Formulate needs

So Lena shouldn't just accept Paul's behavior. She should stand up for herself and her need for a correct greeting. And for wanting a hug and a kiss as a greeting even after moving in together. And possibly more than just wishes. Maybe she needs a hug and a kiss