How do I not write asexual characters
10 signs that you are asexual - someone who has never been attracted to another person
If you are asexual, you will not experience sexual attraction. You have no desire to enter into sexual relationships.
Asexuality is difficult to explain because it is different for each person. This means that on the one hand there are asexuals who experience emotional attraction and enter into romantic relationships. On the other hand, there are asexual people who describe themselves as unromantic and are not interested in sex or a relationship.
Some would argue that asexuals have no sexual desire at all, while others find that this only relates to sex with their partner, but that they do not rule out masturbation.
Even if the need for sex is absent, it does not mean that an asexual person does not long for love and an intimate partnership. Asexuals also often engage in sex, and the reasons for this may be the desire to have children or the satisfaction of the partner. Asexuality never precludes a loving and fulfilling relationship.
As we all already know, sexuality is quite complicated. Even as you hit your twenties and thirties, you may not know what label to put on yourself and you may have trouble figuring out what kind of person you are.
If you're not sure what kind of person you are, here are a few signs that could identify you as asexual:
1. You see when someone is attractive, but you are not attracted to them.
You are very good at recognizing when a man is handsome. You appreciate his strong cheekbones, his smooth hair or his strong abs. But admiring the physical characteristics does not mean that you are attracted to those physical characteristics. This means that you are able to see its beauty without being attracted to it.
2. You enjoy when someone kisses and hugs you, but you don't want to establish further physical contact.
Some asexual people love to be touched. They enjoy hugs, massages, cuddling and kissing. Being asexual does not mean that one is against any form of physical affection. You still enjoy the occasional hugs, but you don't want anything more intense either.
3. You very rarely fall in love.
You're less obsessed with being in a relationship than the rest of your friends. You're not the type of person who will instantly fall in love with the person they happened to meet in a bar. If it does happen that you fall in love with someone, it will be someone you know very well. A person you trust. A person who has more than a pretty face.
4. You don't care if your friends talk about their one-night stands.
You don't understand the hype about sex. If your friends are complaining about how little sex they are having, you cannot empathize with their frustration. You don't find it difficult at all to go months without sex. In your opinion, that's not bad at all, or rather, you feel a certain relief from it.
5. You think sex scenes are boring.
You just can't understand the importance of long and elaborate sex scenes in movies. You'd rather watch a couple have a conversation to see how well they get on than watch them make out in bed. In your opinion, seeing how two people interact with each other is far more important than their chemistry in the bedroom.
6. Getting married is not your main goal in life.
You are happy when you are out of a relationship. You are not at all sure if you will ever fall in love and get married. You're not even sure you do that want. You are more interested in your career, your family, and your friends. Because of this, romantic love is not at the top of your priority list. Or rather, it is not on your list at all.
7. You don't even think about sex during the day.
Sometimes you forget how sex-obsessed the world is because physical intimacy isn't important to you. This is not something you think about every day. You have so many things on your mind, but sex is definitely not one of those things.
8. You are more interested in a person's personality than their looks.
When you meet someone new, you are more interested in how they treat you than how they look. This is because you are able to connect with someone emotionally rather than physically.
9. You could do without sex for the rest of your life, but that doesn't mean you will.
You have no real interest in sex. However, that doesn't mean you want to avoid it completely. While some asexuals abstain from sex, others have sex to please their partners. They may also masturbate because it makes them feel better. There is no “right way” to be asexual. Even if sex isn't something you particularly want, you can still have it.
10. You feel different from everyone else.
Since there is not enough talk about it in the media or in everyday conversations, identifying as asexual can feel disconcerting. However, asexuality is real and allowed. Therefore, you shouldn't be ashamed of your asexuality, but embrace it.
Since sexual desire is a basic need for most people, a partnership in which one partner is asexual can create problems. It is very frustrating for the other partner when there is a lack of physical intimacy in the relationship. But it is not uncommon for an asexual relationship to be happy when the partners are honest with each other and talk. After all, love is about more than just sex.
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